Make It Do, or Do Without

For whatever reason, a large majority of the people in the world are not satisfied with what they have. In some ways this is good. It causes us to reach for something greater, but honestly, I think it often just makes us break one of the Ten Commandments, "Thou shalt not covet". It has the potential of blinding us to the immense blessings that each of us has around us. Every one of us, no matter our SES (Socioeconomic Status) has much to be grateful for. A person from a low SES may look at someone from a high SES and wish they had the free time of someone from a high SES. A person from a high SES may see someone from a low SES and envy the exact same thing, both assuming the other has it better. Both ends of the SES spectrum are faced with resource management challenges and must decide what they will do with what they have.

In a family, managing resources can be quite a challenge. Picture a single mother on the low end of the spectrum. She may desperately need an income to help take care of her baby, but suppose she isn't able to find an affordable childcare option. Her child may not grow up being fed smashed carrots on a silver spoon, but the mother will have much more time with her child. On the other end of the spectrum, a single mother very busy with a successful career may find she has little time for her child and hires a full-time nanny. Down the road she finds herself disconnected from her own child even though it was raised being fed smashed carrots on a silver spoon. There is a lot more in common when it comes to stresses between classes than we realize. Here are a few to think about: Availability of parents to children, Strong positive role models, and discipline. It's important to recognize that having more resources does not mean our ability to meet needs increases.

I’m amazed how often some of the simplest things in a relationship can be the strongest builders. I got to hear examples of this from a few newlyweds. In response to the question "What things have built your relationship the most?" all responded with things like "macaroni picnics in the living room" or "splitting a Snickers bar and reading a book together at the park". Wealth was not required.

Some parents will go great lengths to help their children get ahead in life. Unfortunately, these efforts do not always work out in the child’s best interest. In a study entitled, The Costs of Getting Ahead, Mexican families who had illegally immigrated to the United States were interviewed. Parents and children were separately asked questions and then given time to respond. The parents had a strong desire to provide the best future possible for their children. To achieve this, they would come to America, sometimes one at a time. The father would come first and find work. He would then save as much as possible to help pay for the rest of the family to join him. It could take years before the family was fully reunited. During this time the mother back in Mexico would have to head the household. The children would have to step up and help support the family financially. The time away from one another often caused a wall to be built between once strong family ties. Once in America, these families would face all new challenges. Trying to hang on to old traditions while living amongst new ones, time away from one another between school and work, stricter rules to ensure safety, homesickness, estrangement, etc.

Although I believe in progress and reaching for something greater, I also believe we must be grateful for what we have. No one ever found happiness by wishing they had something the didn’t. Remembering who we are can help. Each culture in the world comes with traditions, inherited patterns of belief or behavior. Traditions can keep us rooted to family. In my family we have the tradition of breaking a paper bag piñata on Christmas Eve. Years ago, my parents could not afford a grand Christmas. They scraped together a few quarters, bought some nuts, and picked up a big paper bag as they left the store. When they returned home they tied the paper bag up with rope and each of us took turns swinging at it. To recognize how wonderful God has been, and how far we have come, we continue to have a paper bag piñata on Christmas.  It’s something that I intend to carry on to my own family in the future. Things like this do not require silver spoons or hired nannies, yet they hold families together.